I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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