You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
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i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
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I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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