if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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