NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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