is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
