now i know why i became what i already was.
a search helicopter?!
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
