My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
