I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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