I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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