stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
