so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize