honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
