I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
