i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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