I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
