Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Even the bartender felt bad for me
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
