I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize