well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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