So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She's the barista slut.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
