He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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