you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
