Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
