In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
