it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize