i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
