you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
