You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Quick, to the slutcave!
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
