My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
