is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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