after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
