Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
