Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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