Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
