24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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