Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
