After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
