I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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