I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
