so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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