There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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