Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize