I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I will be naked everywhere
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
