Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
