this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
