My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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