i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
