the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
