my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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