There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
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