guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
