rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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