I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
