his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize