my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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