she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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