dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
