He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
