Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
