We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
dude. I can hear the air.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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