Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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