I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
